RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
Its no secret that this last six weeks has been the most challenging ever in terms of changing behaviour, meltdowns, anxieties and upsets of my ‘near Teen’. It’s been a mentally draining six weeks with a whole lot of patience required, sometimes it breaks, sometimes it doesn’t. I think yesterday it finally took its toll on me.
For the past few days I’ve been getting that all too familiar feeling of anxiety brewing in my belly. The feeling of not feeling right… the increasing deep breaths I was taking, my enthusiasm and ‘get up and go’ fading more each day. Then yesterday, I felt… nothing. I felt numb and knackered, not feeling like doing anything… and not in a ‘I can’t be arsed’ kind of way, just ‘I can’t’.
I simply lay all afternoon on the sofa, but not snuggling up with a movie having a pj day… that’s enjoyable. I just felt completely zapped of energy and the only thing to keep me awake was the first half of the charity football game for the Grenfell Tower… Jamie Dornan playing football was NOT going to be missed! I paid my text donation and enjoyed! Then I slept (most likely dreaming of Mr D in his football shorts! 😛).
I woke up still feeling rubbish. I wanted to have a good cry, but good old Prozac kind of puts the breaks on the floodgates… a telephone call with my Dad encouraged a trickle. I felt like I seriously didn’t want to do anything. A night out with the girls… No! A cosy pub with the hubby… No! I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to shake this off. I haven’t got time to be depressed…. I have a Social Media course to start this month and two girly weekends away coming up… I really needed to shake this!
It didn’t help that daughter dear had a half hour meltdown which was (once again) triggered by food… the bigger pizza I was cooking was not quite ready, which obviously meant she wasn’t getting any… obviously!! This in turn pissed hubby right off as he has also been feeling stressed. Bloody hell, I couldn’t even own my ‘pity party day’ all by myself!
Well, as they say, today is another day. Today is also the day of our local half marathon in support of Cancer Research UK, of which hubby is an organiser – hence the stress the previous day! There was no way I was going to dip out of this and let him down. Thankfully, I’d made the sensible decision of doing the 10K race this year rather than the half (mainly because I’ve been rubbish with my running and I couldn’t be arsed to put in the miles of training!). Sensible decision made I’d say, given the miserable day we woke up to this morning! 🌧🌧
So, I got myself up (after several snooze hits!) and got my shit together. I have to be honest, I’ve never been so unprepared for a race! No kit ready, no ‘carb loading’ the day before which I would’ve done in the past, which is a sure sign that I’ve lost my mojo for it. I didn’t even have a watch to track my time – something which I’d been obsessed about in previous races! I figured today, I will just run… not bust a gut… just run.
And that is what I did… and I felt all the better for it. If nothing else, its an hour of not having anyone call my name or “MUM”!! The race was fantastic, the rain didn’t bother me… I felt like Forest Gump and ‘just kept running’. I even managed a not too shabby time considering my pretty non-existent training programme this summer!
I know in the past when I have felt low, exercise and good diet, however much I didn’t feel like doing either, helped me to feel better and today was no exception. Although, I’m not sure the gut-busting Chinese I’ve scoffed will count as good diet! 🍚🍜😋
Aaaaah well, Monday tomorrow… I’ll start then!
FYI, the header pic is my hubby and I proudly completing last year’s Half Marathon raising money for Ovarian Cancer Research in memory of my dear Mum. ❤
Until next time.
Love and hugs