Not winning at Life… and the signs it’s all going a bit ‘tits up!’

Not long ago, I thought I had it sorted.  For me, I was doing ok.  I’m certainly no Monica Geller but a little meal planning and some organisation with the laundry meant that we were reasonably well fed and clothed which then led me to be more organised with other aspects of life. I even did a fist bumping, back slapping blog about it (The Domino effect) … I was that impressed with myself!

Unfortunately, that’s all gone to shit and I really don’t know how I got from being more organised to constantly chasing my tail.  I’m doing a social media course at the moment which is taking up a chunk of my time every week, but as a Mum working part time, surely I can handle this?  It would seem not!

I find myself wondering how the hell mums working full time or mums with more than two children or single mums manage to do it all – because of course, when you’re losing at life, you feel like nobody else is, you’re the only one… when the reality is, they are probably losing to some extent too!

At the moment, there is so much do to at home that I just don’t know where to start… so I don’t! By 6.00pm, hubby and I are both feeling shattered and the last thing either of us feel like doing is sorting the mountain of washing that has piled up in the bath… not posh enough to own a ‘utility’ or sort out lunches etc etc!

This has made me think about the obvious signs (for me) that its all going a bit ‘tits up’…

  1. I have a freezer full of food but none of it goes together.  I have a bag of onion bajis, a bag of tuna steaks, some frozen raspberries and a loaf of gluten free bread!
  2. The cupboards aren’t much better.  Nothing that could make up a meal in combination with the freezer – although I do seem to have an abundance of coconut milk!?
  3. So I try and go one more day without doing ‘Big Food Shop’ because I either; can’t be arsed/it’s too cold/there’s  anything more important to do, but the upshot is I have to make four separate meals from what there is left!
  4. When I do finally get myself shopping, I’ve left it too late to do a list, let alone a meal plan, so I work off my incredibly hazy brain.  This results in at least £80 being spent on anything but more than two meals that go together because the rest has gone on Children in Need paraphernalia/Christmas jumpers & slippers… or whatever else is needed this week!
  5. The above results in less exotic meals being cooked… usually something with chips & beans!
  6. From food to laundry… the washing baskets (of clean washing) are bloody overflowing and every day I pledge to sort them out and distribute to the relevant owner.  This of course, doesn’t happen which results in every morning, me trying to find school socks/PE shorts or anything else that’s needed 10 minutes before we leave in the morning!
  7. Worst still is that I discover what should be in that basket is still in the machine and I have to panic tumble dry it in 30 minutes.  Even worse is when what is needed has to be washed, dried and ironed… yeah… forget it!
  8. There are loads of socks in the drawer.. but none of them match… probably because the rest are in that washing basket… or the dog has pinched them!
  9. My birthday reminder is Facebook!  Usually around 3pm I’ll see that I need to buy a card for someone! Arrrrgghhhh!
  10. The house downstairs is doing reasonably ok… but if someone came round and needed to use the upstairs bathroom, I’d literally shit myself… and possibly they’re about to!!
  11. Christmas shopping – in real shops?  The majority once again will be done on Amazon…. its my bloody saviour!
  12. I’m so tired at the end of the day from failing, I need an early night – I sod what needs doing and pledge to get up early and wing it in the morning… and the whole merry dance starts again!

If I’m honest, what hasn’t helped is that this week I put my back out and hubby has been amazing in taking control of everything, whilst I’ve had to sit on my arse! Sounds wonderful… but when you’re forced to do it, you really don’t want to!

Please let me know I am not alone…  let me know this is you too or let me know the signs when you know you are #failing!    I’m now off to re-read my ‘Domino’ (winning at life) blog for some inspiration!

Love and Hugs,

Mother’s Daughter xxx

Why are school mornings like Groundhog Day!?

This morning was like every other morning, which is like every morning in households everywhere that children live.  The dreaded school run! Why oh why is it just so hard!?

It doesn’t seem to matter what time I get up, how organised I might be, the result is still the same… shouting that we need to go, teeth still not cleaned, ties suddenly lost and an announcement at two mins to blast off that they need to take something random with them to school! Why do they do that, they’ve had a whole sodding night, but NO, please announce this at 7.55am!!

The difference in my household and I’m sure its the same for all mum’s of special ones, the worry is that it will always be Groundhog Day.  Will I always have to remind about putting on deodorant, brushing hair and the fact that there is jam smile on her face?! Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to do this for as long as it takes, but A. it worries me that I’ll still be doing this when she is 25+ and B. it pisses me off!

Thing is, as mums we (that’s the Royal ‘we’) have enough trouble having to think about what we need to do for ourselves, but as a mum, you also have to do the thinking for everyone else as well!  All my two kids want to think about is Pokemon/Skylanders and Coronation Street episodes from three years ago, therefore it’s down to me to remember drinks bottles, PE kits, reading records, lunch, teeth cleaned, suncream/scarf & gloves (depending on the time of year) and any other parafinalia I may have missed!

So literally, every day, every single sodding day, I say (shout) the same thing to the kids before school… and I know you do too… and if you don’t, you are a very lucky lady!  It has to be beyond a shadow of a doubt, the worst hour of the day.  The relief that I feel once they are both dropped off is immense, it just rolls off my shoulders in a big “thank fuck for that!”.

I’ve mentioned before about how hubby would call me, usually on his way to work during school run hour because he thought of something trivial on the way to work.  He quickly learnt not to do this.  Well, a few weeks ago, I went away with my old school mates for some R&R which meant hubby had to do two mornings of school runs!  As we  landed in Dublin, I called home to say we arrived safely… His first words were  “how the fuck do you do that every day?  You deserve a bloody medal!”  I know!!

I’m very fortunate that I mostly work at home and go into the office once (sometimes twice) a week, so for four out of five days, I know I can wing it where I am concerned – if I’m only half ready its no biggy.  If I had to go through the stress of being ‘work ready’ every morning and try to get out of the door at stupid o’clock, I would now be found rocking in a chair with a very large Gin!  At least this way, its just Gin!!

But in all seriousness, as our children grow up, they do become more self-sufficient and do things for themselves.  I have a fiercely independent eight year-old who even now, does so much for himself.

However, for our children who have challenges and needs, it doesn’t always go that way and as parents, there is always the niggling worry in the back of our minds that we will always need to be around to help… which of course, we always will be.  Just pass me the Gin!! xx

Until next time…

Tales of a Mother’s Daughter xxx

This blog of course, extends to stay at home dad’s and not just limited to us mums!


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